I attended the demo meeting this Wednesday – two days ago.
With prioring to this time, I thought that I was poor in presenting things what I thought. But on that day, I realized that I was knock by myself. Throughout the demo, all of us were speaking and listening in English for more than 2 hours, and I did not be confused in understanding what others said and not speak any wrong words. Further speaking, I’ve been interesting in what I ask myself to do.
Last September, I began my lonely journey improving some abilities. Three monthes later, the first period’s end, I got advanced in reading and sentence structure, maybe logic thinking was included. And in this Lunar Ner Year, the Dog’s Year, I did rethink that does all of those ‘is’ ready for the test? I said ‘no’ to myself. Because of scaring of making a speech in front of a crowd, I supposed that I would not be qualified in iBT, which assesses the integreted abilities including reading, listening, speaking, and writing. And, the test will cost me $3000, not $30. It is a huge amount for me, maybe for all of ill-practiced test-taker. Speaking in other words, the reality that I was not born in well-educated family means that I won’t have sufficient resourses for me to learn anything, including of English.
During the time coming home, I thought everything indicated to self-confident, wealth, cram school members, and all I saw between last September and last Decsember. I found that all of those was make-believe but myself be.
Maybe you’ll say ‘fucking shit’ after my words, don’t you?
That’s ok. That’s fine.
Just pray for me. It’s the only thing what I’m asking for.